Here ya go.. Twenty-six things about me…
Might be slightly revised from what you’ve been seeing in your Facebook newsfeed.
A – Aaarrrrgh!: I know, right?
B – Big butts?: I cannot lie.
C – Curses: Foiled again.
D – Drink I last drank: Water. On the rocks. I’m hardcore like that.
E – Everyday starts with: E
F – Favorite f-word: Fluffernutter. Also favorite sandwich.
G – Great googly-moogly!: Couldn’t have said it better myself.
H – Health status: *checks pulse* Uh oh…
I – Incognito?: Nope. In Phoenix at the moment.
J – Jelly?: Yes, please, but not on the Fluffernutter (see above).
K – Killed someone?: Not as far as you know. Why? What have you heard?
L – Last time you cried out in utter frustration and futility?: That’s pretty much neverending.
M – Middle finger: Extended.
N – Number of pets: 1 bird and something like 47 cats at last count. My wife claims we only have 6, but I’m pretty sure that’s a very low estimate.
O – One wish: Infinite wishes that actually come true the way I intend, not the way some sick, twisted genie makes them come true becuase it gets his rocks off to see humans suffer. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU KEEP GETTING SHOVED BACK INTO THAT STUPID LAMP!?
P – Person you last called “dumbass” and got away with it: Myself, though I did give myself the stink eye for a while.
Q – Question you’re always asked: “What are you still doing here?”
R – Reason to simile: To compare two things that aren’t actually alike to evoke empathetic understanding.
S – Song you have no hope of ever nailing at karaoke: “Without You” in the style of Harry Nilsson. Or anything Harry Nilsson ever sang, really. The range that guy had!
T – Time I woke up: Yeah, I suppose it is.
U – Understand?: Well, since you put it that way…
V – Vacation destination: Va… Vaca… I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with that word.
W – Worst hobbit: Bilbo Baggins. I mean, come on. What the hell kind of name is Bilbo Baggins, amirite?
X – Xenophobia?: Not really a fan of it.
Y – Yeeeeesh!: Look, this is almost over. Just chill.
Z – Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah: Zip-a-dee-ay.
Feel free to copy, paste, and completely dazzle your friends with your brilliance. Have fun!!