Super Cool Black is the New Black Black Moon FAQ

Another big lunar event takes place tonight. Be ready!

What is “The Moon”?

As mentioned in the Super Cool Blood Orange Faster Pussycat Kill Kill Moon FAQ from a few months ago, it’s a big rock orbiting the Earth, but that’s still not all that important right now.

Black Moon!


So, what’s a “Supermoon”?

That same big rock closer to the Earth than at other times of the year so it will look bigger than normal, or it would if you could see it.

What’s so… wait, what? Why can’t I see it?

It’s a New Moon, the second one this month which is pretty rare, thus the “Black Moon” designation. Basically, though, the moon has turned its back on the Earth and, in the spirit of Pink Floyd, it’s all dark. The part illuminated by the sun is facing away from us, so even though it’s closer to us, you won’t be able to see it. Instead, you’ll just see a big, empty, black disc.

So, kind of like a black hole?

Well, I suppose you could put it that way. No, wait…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOON’S TURNED INTO A GIANT BLACK HOLE AND IT’S GOING TO SWALLOW THE EARTH AND KILL US ALL!!!!!!!!!

What? NO! That’s not… hang on. That wasn’t a question. This is an FAQ. The “Q” stands for “Question”.

Sorry. I’ll rephrase.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOON’S TURNED INTO A GIANT BLACK HOLE AND IT’S GOING TO SWALLOW THE EARTH AND KILL US ALL!!!!!!!!!?

Better.

…?


No reaction?

Nope. Not falling for it. Not getting into whether you’ll see a mad scientist merged with a murderous robot in some bizarro representation of Hell or anything of the sort.

Could that really happen?

No, that was a stupid ending to a mediocre movie. But I have to admit, Maximillian (the robot) was very cool and very scary and I kind of want one that’s not quite as murderous.

Not quite as murderous?

We’re done here.